"Surviving the Unthinkable"

Life has a way of catching us off guard. We casually go about our days thinking tomorrow will look much like today, same shit different day kind of mentality until suddenly, it isn’t. Sometimes it only takes a single moment, one action, one twist of fate, to turn everything upside down and into a shitshow! 

A few months ago, life flipped upside down for us. As my husband PJ was randomly assaulted on his way back from the shop after buying cigarettes. There’s some irony in it as we all are well versed in the knowledge the smoking kills, but in this case, that purchase could have easily cost him his life.

PJ was caught completely off guard with one single blow. A senseless unprovoked reckless punch to the back of his head knocking him out cold before he even hit the ground. The attackers fled the scene and left him for dead. He was left unconscious, laying in a pool of blood, with his teeth scattered on the footpath beside him. They say your life can change in the blink of an eye, and I can tell you; it really does.

The first 24 hours were a blur. I went into shock. I remember repeating what I’d been told, relaying the news to family and friends, but the seriousness of it all hadn’t sunk in. It wasn’t until the next morning, after just a few hours of restless sleep, that the reality hit me. My body couldn’t cope with the fear and uncertainty that it resulted in me fainting from the stress. In that moment it was like the weight of it all just crushed me. 

His injuries were horrific, I will never forget hearing those words “Your husband has several bleeds on the brain with significant swelling, a fractured skull and eye socket, missing front teeth, and significant damage to his lower teeth. We are holding him on the surgical ward in case he needs emergency surgery”. And yet, apart from a black eye and a massive lump on the back of his head, there wasn’t any other marks on him. I still don’t know how he survived and walked away without serious life changing injuries. Maybe the prayers, the candles, the love sent from everywhere helped. Maybe it was just pure luck. Either way, I’m grateful.

The weeks that followed were long, stressful, and emotional and full of sleepless nights for me. PJ slept his way through the first two weeks as his body seemed to just shut itself down in order to heal itself deeply from within, but it was exactly what he needed. After weeks of endless Brain CT scans we eventually got the good news that his latest scan was clear and the scans looked good and PJ has made an amazing recovery.

Recovery at first was extremely frustrating for him as it was so slow. Thankfully as the headaches and fatigue lessen in intensity slowly his been taking back control of his life. It hasn't been all clear sailing as some long-term side effects are still there like the PTSD, Tinnitus, loss of taste and smell but thankfully he’s regained all his cognitive function and has even been cleared to return to work. It’ll be a gradual phased return, because of brain fatigue, but we’re just so thankful to even be at this stage.

“He’s been incredibly lucky to walk away without any life-altering injuries from such extensive trauma.”

Being in Sweden made it even harder. Living abroad is tough enough but trying to navigate a medical system in another language, while missing the comfort of family and friends, was overwhelming. Thankfully, we’ve got an incredible circle here in Gävle. Our friends and work colleagues rallied around us, wrapped us up in love and support, and carried us through. I don’t know how we’d have managed without them. Especially to my best friend Ita, who hopped on a flight and flew over from Ireland to be by our side and support us. We will forever be grateful not only to her but her husband who held the reins at home and looked after their family allowing Ita the time to give to us. 

And then there’s the role reversal. I’m usually the patient living with muscular dystrophy means I’m used to needing help. Suddenly, I was the caregiver. It wasn’t easy. I have physical limits, and some days were harder than I’d like to admit. But I did my best. And PJ, through this experience, has a newfound appreciation for his health, and for the daily frustrations I face. In some strange way, it’s brought us closer, because now he gets it, the daily challenges I face and the restrictions that come with it. 

So, what have we taken from all this? Apart from the obvious, life is precious and that life can change in a heartbeat and we’ve come out stronger. Our relationship is deeper, our love is stronger, and our appreciation for the life we’ve built together is even greater. We’ve also learnt who our true friends are, and how important community really is when you’re far from home.

The next challenge we face now is getting PJ’s teeth fixed, and seeing his big smile shine again, and start to live fully as all our plans during the summer were all put on hold while we navigated his recovery.  Here’s to making new memories together, to holding each other a little tighter, and to never taking the ordinary days for granted again! 

Also, to the people who showed up for us. The ones who dropped everything, who stood by our side when we needed them most. We’ll never forget that kind of love and support. So, if you are reading this Louise, Stephen and Allen, we will forever be grateful for all the love, kindness and support you offered us when we were at our most vulnerable.

So, hug that person you love extra tight and tell them you love them, because at any single moment life can change in a blink of an eye! 

Until next time 

Siobhan McBarron xoxo